


What's Your Sign?

by fruityfruityfruitloops



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Astrology, Based off a dumb prompt, I did the best I could, I swear, M/M, does it?, please know that I don't really write Derek, that doesnt inspire much confidence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-20
Updated: 2015-10-20
Packaged: 2018-04-27 08:19:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5041012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fruityfruityfruitloops/pseuds/fruityfruityfruitloops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which a sour Scorpio is pestered by a persistent Aries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's Your Sign?

Based off of [this prompt](http://be-au-ties.tumblr.com/post/129520518146/beautiful-au).

* * *

 

Clubs were not Derek’s thing. Dear god, they were not his thing at all. They were loud, they smelled like sweat and ass, and he could no longer count on one hand the number of people that had felt him up as they “attempted to get past him”. The worst was the guy that purred a loud “Mmmm” in his ear as he squeezed his ass, and it took everything he had not to turn around and sock him in the face. Derek enjoyed ass-squeezing as much as the next guy, but with a pre-approved partner in an isolated environment, like a bedroom or the odd shower. Strangers groping him in sleazy clubs were generally not welcomed.

Which begs the question, why in the hell was Derek there? Simple answer, his dumb friends had dragged him there. Longer answer, he was supposed to “meet someone” and “have some fun” and “find a quick fling”. Braeden and Jordan just could not comprehend that Derek wasn’t the one night stand type. Derek liked to meet people in coffee shops and farmers’ markets and book stores and date them slowly and personally. He wasn’t even a prude either. He just didn’t like hook ups.

Which is why he found himself at the corner of the bar, nursing a glass of whiskey. The fact that his glass was still half-full 20 minutes later discouraged the bartender from any return visits, and his scowl scared off any other potential flirtations, leaving the barstool next to him vacant, despite the crowd around the bar. At least, his efforts were enough to scare off everyone that wasn’t a scrawny twenty-something year old freckly ball of energy. “Are you a Cancer? ‘Cause you’re killing me,” he said with a dopey grin.

Derek once again had to suppress the urge to punch the offense. “Buzz off, kid, I’m not in the mood,” he said in his best growl.

“Aw, come on,” the kid pouted. “It took me ten minutes to think of that one!”

“That piece of crap took you ten minutes? Give it up kid, flirting’s not your game.”

The kid glared at Derek, his thin lips pursing. “Okay, first of all, stop calling me ‘kid’. I’m 23, and from the looks of it, you can’t be more than five years older than me. You can call me Stiles. Second, the least you could do is introduce yourself. It’d be the polite thing to do.”

Derek scoffed into his drink. “I don’t owe you nothin’, kid. How about you try someone else, because I’m not biting.”

Stiles glowered at him for a couple of seconds, then pushed back through the crowd, leaving Derek to a blissful silence. Well, as silent as it could be while still being in a club. Now that people weren’t bothering him, it had the chance to turn into a decent evening. It was a good whiskey, the club’s playlist was decent, albeit loud, and chances were good that Braeden and Jordan were going to try and suck up the booze at some diner later, and Derek had a thing for greasy diner food.

But then Stiles reappeared. “All right, I’ve got it this time,” he said confidently. “Are you a Libra? Because you’ve tipped the scales in your favor.” He stood there, beaming, as if he had just delivered an Oscar-worthy speech.

“Are you – was that seriously it? That only barely made sense. How could you think that would work?” Derek asked incredulously.

Stiles shrugged that off and pressed on. “All right, all right, how about this one? Are you a Sagittarius? Because you shot an arrow through my heart.”

Derek sighed. “That’s Cupid, not Sagittarius. Sagittarius is a centaur, not a cherub.”

“Okay, fine. I’ve got a few more. One of them will get you.”

“I wouldn’t bet on it.”

“Shut up. Anyway, are you an Aquarius? Because you’re drowning me in love. Or are you an Aries? Because I want you to ram into me. Or are you a Virgo? Because you’ve got me blushing like a virgin.”

“Is this really the best you have?”

“They’d work on other people,” Stiles groused.

“Then go use them on other people!” Derek exclaimed. “Why are you only using them on me?”

“Because of this,” Stiles said, producing a newspaper clipping. Derek looked at it, glanced at the circled section, and then glared at Stiles. “Are you fucking kidding me? You’re hitting on me with fucking zodiac puns because the love section of your fucking horoscope says ‘you’ll meet someone new’? I actually think I might punch you in the face right now.”

Stiles laughed nervously, then grabbed his clipping and retreated a couple of steps. “Look, my horoscope said that I would meet someone new. So here I am, meeting someone new.”

“Not. Me,” Derek said, his voice rumbling low in his chest.

“Yeah, but why not?” Stiles countered. “You’re not going to get rid of me unless you can actually make a compelling case. I’m an Aeries, we look for adventure and take up challenges.”

“Here’s why not: because astrology is crap. There is no legitimate science to back up anything having to do with star signs or planetary alignment or any of that bullshit. I mean, do you actually believe that shit?”

“I-well, I mean-”

“Honestly, you seem like a smart kid, so I don’t get while you’re pursuing this. If you wanna look at the horoscopes because sometimes they give decent advice, fine. More power to you. But don’t try and make a love connection based on the word of a half-assed horoscope reading from some newspaper writer paying his dues and trying to move up to the movie reviews as quickly as possible. It’s pathetic.”

“I-I didn’t mean-I’m sorry,” Stiles said quietly. While Derek had been ranting, he had slowly crumpled up the horoscope section with one hand and shoved it back in his pocket as quietly as he could. Derek only noticed because he saw Stiles’ hands trembling. Then he realized that Stiles’ entire body was trembling. By the time he finally looked into Stiles’ eyes again, they were welling up with tears.

“I didn’t-oh shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Derek said, trying his best to be soft. “I have a bad habit of shooting off my mouth and I really didn’t mean to hurt you, I promise.”

“I know. I get it. And for the record, I don’t really believe in all the horoscope stuff. It was just…it gave me confidence, you know? People don’t really pay attention to me otherwise. But then I started looking at the horoscopes, and…it was like hope, you know? It just kept predicting all these good things for me, and it was nice to hear good things for once.”

Derek looked at him silently for a couple of minutes, then pulled out the chair next to him. “Sit down. Let’s talk.”

Stiles sat down quietly, then just looked at Derek. “What am I supposed to talk about?" 

“Talk about people not really paying attention to you. That seems like a good place to start.”

Stiles shrugged. “There’s not really so much to tell. I’m a scrawny, freckly, gangly mess. Boys don’t generally care for scrawny, freckly, gangly messes, especially when half the water polo team is queer.”

“So high school was a mess, huh?”

“Not really,” Stiles replied. “I had friends. I wasn’t unpopular. I was just eternally single. I had a couple of friends that I had crushes on, but they were both straight. I was essentially every coming out movie ever made.”

Derek laughed. “We all were, trust me. I kept trying to hit on all the other players on the basketball team. It wasn’t pretty. I’m just glad I had my uncle. He was pretty gay, and he kind of mentored me. Taught me how to tell if a guy was gay or not, how to mix cocktails…truth be told, I think he might have been trying to train me to be his houseboy, but at least he taught me a bunch of stuff.”

“Okay, but how gay was he really?” Stiles asked, perched on the edge of his seat expectantly.

Derek thought for a minute, then said “He owns 16 pairs of v-neck t shirts, and no crew necks.” He grinned as Stiles burst into laughter, a rare occurrence for him. The kid had a great smile, and apparently, it was infectious. “He’d eat you up, too,” he added. “He’s kind of a predatory gay, and he has a thing for mouthy twinks.”

“Don’t think I won’t consider it,” Stiles said, arcing his eyebrows cockily. “I’d do anything for some male attention at this point.”

Derek snorted. “That’s a great attitude to have when you’re looking for a boyfriend.”

“Who said I’m looking for a boyfriend?” Stiles asked. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, a boyfriend would be great. But I honestly don’t even know what I’m looking for right now. Really, I’m just looking for experiences to build off of.”

“Well, what does your sign say?”

Stiles rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on, I already dropped the astrology talk. What more do you want from me.”

“No, no, I’m serious,” Derek said earnestly. “It might be a good jumping off point for you. Seriously, what does it say?”

“Um…okay. Well, from what I’ve read online, Aries are passionate and intense in new relationships, and are big into romantic gestures. It also said that Arians can get confused or misled by the mundane aspects of day-to-day relationships, but that we’re willing to work at it.”

“So, what you need is someone with relationship experience and patience. That doesn’t sound so bad. I’m a Scorpio. Would we be compatible?”

Stiles smiled almost shyly. “Okay, Scorpio and Aries tend to engage in heavy, heated arguments. Our connection would be highly passionate and often argumentative, because we both have jealous tendencies. Scorpios tend to be more patient, but are also more possessive than Arians — and can lash out. Arians and Scorpios tend to have an exciting time together, both, um…both in the bedroom and out of it. Arguments are normal in such a challenge-oriented couple. Also, Arians can teach Scorpios about spontaneity, like doing things just for the experience, rather than always having an agenda in mind. Scorpios can help teach Arians to stabilize and finish things rather than always jumping into new projects without completing what’s already on the table.”

Derek nodded slowly, eyes wide. “Wow. That was all off the top of your head? That was…impressive. I can’t believe that you have that much information just rolling around.”

Stiles purse his lips, trying to hide a sheepish grin. “Yeah, I, uh, I tend to do a lot of heavy research. Especially if I’m interested in a topic.”

“See, now that’s good for a relationship! You can put some of those research skills to use getting to know me.”

Stiles’ eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. “Oh, now I can get to know you, Mr. Scorpio?”

Derek smiled, again, which was a surely a record for the chronically-surly man. “Yeah. We’re gonna go on a date. How do you feel about diner food?”

“The greasier, the better,” Stiles said, hopping off his barstool. “Lead the way, Sour Scorpio.”

“Please don’t call me that,” Derek said, rolling his eyes. “My name is Derek.”

Stiles’ near-constant grin widened. “No, I like it. I think it’s gonna stick. Sour Scorpio…” he mused, as Derek’s arm wrapped around his shoulder.


End file.
